getting spoken to as if i’m straight by straight people who assume everyone is straight, subsequently feeling like the world’s most useless and irritated secret agent
Anonymous said: Asexual Narcissa being aloof and fierce towards boys who wanna get with her and cat-call and don't respect her asexuality. Lucius being curious and asking her how she feels, defending her whenever it comes up "with the boys", and totes being respectful and blossoming into loves. Draco being in-vitro, and everyone being beautiful.
Late at night in December, Harry, Hermione, and Ron are sitting up late writing homework. Harry has been fidgety all evening. Finally he throws his hands (and his quill) up in the air and says loudly, “I don’t care about sex! I just don’t care!” Ron blinks at him, confused. Hermione nods and says, “That’s called being asexual, Harry. There’s books in the library on sexuality.”
Harry is deeply relieved. Ron just looks bemused for awhile and then says, “Will you still be my wingman?”
Harry agrees on the condition that Ron get better at his Silencing Charms so that he doesn’t have to hear Ron having sex in the Gryffindor Quidditich team locker room showers anymore.
He doesn’t really understand how to be a wingman. He just talks about the things on his mind and it seems to work well enough.
*nearby lesbian laughter*
*muffled asexual snickering*
*conflicted pansexual noises*
*moderately panicked bisexual muttering*
HETEROSEXUAL SCREAMING IN ANGUISH
Laughter from anyone who realises condoms are not the only form of birth control.
Louder laughter from those that remember that STDs and STIs are an actual thing that happen whether one is on the pill or not.Laughter stops as people remember that STDs and STIs are an actual thing that happen whether one is on the pill or not.
Literally everyone, regardless of orientation, mutters awkwardly and shuffles away as they remember that STDs and STIs are an actual thing that can happen to anyone who is sexually active, and not just heterosexual people.
*asexual snickering increases in volume*
Anonymous said: When are we taking over the world?
WE RIDE AT DAWN
AT THE REQUEST OF MANY, OUR RIDE HAS BEEN POSTPONED.
WE RIDE AT NOON-THIRTY AFTER A BALANCED BREAKFAST AND SOME SNACKS.
JUICE BOXES ARE FREE AND CAN BE FOUND WITH THE ARCHERS. BE SURE TO GET YOUR GOODY BAGS OFF OF YOUR ENEMIES.
asexual and aromantic people are made of hurricanes and lightening and breath mist and rain pass it on
A group of agender/asexual/aromantic friends that call themselves The A Team and unironically get jackets made
raise your hand if you’re a queer kid who started out as an overly invested “straight” “ally”
to all the “straight” “allies” who feel intensely uncomfortable IDing as straight: buckle up kids, have i ever got news for you
Anonymous said: do u have a sexuality or...?
a sexuality?? in THIS economy???
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